Remembering Matthew...

It seems like it was yesterday when our family was going thru the most difficult time of our lives. Matthew came into our lives and we didnt know that he was not here to stay, today he would have been 18 months old from the day he was born. I struggle everyday with his death but I always think that one day we will all be together.

To my little baby boy...

Words will never described the pain that mommy feels from not having you with me to hold you, see you grow up, take you to soccer practice, watch you play with trucks, give you a popsicle, read you stories... but mommy pictures you in a wonderful place where pain and suffering doesnt exist.. with God. One day we will all be together and we will continue our life as a family. You will always be our son, our precious little brave man that endured more than anybody could imagine. As I am sitting here looking at your picture thinking about how thats the only thing that I hold on to and watching your candle burn for this special day where we remember you and all of your little angel friends in heaven I think of all the things that you taught us. Be brave little man like you have always been and mommy will continue to make your memory remain in everybody that are part of our lives and we will continue our journey until we meet again...

I am so proud of you.. you make mommy so happy and I am so proud and so grateful that you chose me to be your mommy.

I love you more than words will ever be able to say.

Your mommy.

What Makes A Mother

I thought of you and closed my eyes

And prayed to God today,

I asked, "What makes a Mother?"

And I know I heard him say:

A Mother has a baby,

This we know is true

But, God, can you be a mother

When your baby's not with you?

Yes, you can, he replied

With confidence in his voice,

I give many women babies,

When they leave it is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime,

And others for the day,

And some I send to feel your womb,

But there's no need to stay.

I just don't understand this God,

I want my baby here.

He took a breath, and cleared his throat,

And then I saw a tear.

I wish I could show you,

What your child is doing Here...

If you could see your child smile

With other children and say,

"We go to earth to learn our lessons of love and life and fear,

but My mommy loved me so much I got to come straight here!"

I feel so lucky to have a Mom who had so much love for me,

I learned my lessons very quickly,

My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh so much

But I visit her each day.

When she goes to sleep,

On her pillow is where I lay.

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,

And whisper in her ear,"Mommy, Please don't be sad today,

I'm your baby and I am here"

So you see my dear sweet one,

Your children are okay.

Your babies are here in My home,

And this is where they'll stay.

They'll wait for you with Me,

Until your lessons there are through,

And on the day that you come home,

they'll be at the gates waiting for you

So now you see

What makes a Mother,

It's the feeling in your heart,

It's the love you had so much of

Right from the very start.

Author Unknown