I just dont even know how to begin... I prolly wont explain much but I think of him so much... all day and everyday. I see little boys and I think how would Matthew look right now. I see little boys and I wonder how wonderful life would be with him here. I punish myself everyday when I wish he was here. Because it would not be fair for Melanie but not thinking and wishing he was here would be unfair for Matthew. I wish both of my kids were here. All of us together... without leaving one behind. I wish life was different sometimes. That I would be the person I was before April 9th, 2007 when we found out he was going to die. Life is not that easy. But life is also so wonderful. I see Melanie and I thank God for sending her to us. I see Melanie and I thank Matthew for taking care of her. I now understand that Matthew left this world to let his sister come, but I still wish both of my kids would be here. I love him so much, more than words can say. He is my little boy... mommy's little man and daddy's little buddy. He is the love of my life... the baby that I will never know. I will see him one day and our family one day will be together again.. all of us. I found this poem that made me think of him so much. I picture him in a cloud playing with my dad... playing with his grandpa. My dad would have been so proud of me... so proud of the beautiful children that Matt and I have. And I am sure he is taking care of his grandson. I wanted to share a picture of his footprints.. the proof that I have that a little angel walked in this earth... better yet... I gave birth to an angel.. I love you so much sweetie and mommy, daddy and your sisters will always be there with you...
LITTLE ONE, LITTLE ONE,
WHERE HAVE YOU GONE ?
YOUR GOING HAS DARKENED THE BRIGHTEST DAWN.
WHY DID YOU LEAVE US SO SOON,SO SOON?
WHERE CAN WE LOOK FOR YOU ?
OVER THE MOON?
ON BUTTERFLIES' WINGS?
IN THE HEART OF A ROSE?
WHO KNOWS, WHO KNOWS,
WHERE A LITTLE ONE GOES?
WHERE I HAVE GONE,
I AM NOT SO SMALL.
MY SOUL IS AS WIDE AS THE WORLD IS TALL.
MOMMY I HAVE GONE TO ANSWER THE CALL,
THE CALL OF THE ONE WHO TAKES CARE OF US ALL.
WHEREVER YOU LOOK,
YOU WILL FIND ME THERE-
IN THE HEART OF A ROSE,
IN THE HEART OF A PRAYER.
ON BUTTERFLIES' WINGS,
ON WINGS OF MY OWN,
TO YOU, I'M GONE, BUT I'M NEVER ALONE-
I'M OVER THE MOON.
I AM FINALLY HOME.
5 comments:
Wow, that was so touching Gaby, Im sure Matthew is so proud to call you mommy. You are such a wonderful person and I love you for that!
Whst a beautiful poem! I'm so sorry you lost a son. I can't imagine how painful that must be.
I love that poem, and your words. I know Matthew looks down on you, his daddy and sisters everyday... watching over you all.
I am sure you have your difficult days, but you have such a wonderful outlook on the situation. You're such a strong person, and God knew that when he allowed Matthew to join him in heaven. You will see him again, just think, you'll have your baby in heaven to take care of, your job doesn't end here on earth (((HUGS))).
Oh, Gaby! I am so sorry and reading this really broke my heart. I cannot understand your pain but I am so happy that Melanie was sent as a blessing to help heal your heart from your tragic loss. (It will never go away, but it will get better.)
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